I recently got a big reminder to rest and embrace life through being sick. I think I was down for a good week plus. I realized it was something that already started in late January when I was in Myanmar. But I guess I was too stubborn to rest. Whenever I got slightly better, I jumped onto the next thing and unknowingly never fully recovered from it.
LEARNING TO BE SICK AND TO REST
My god, I haven’t been that sick for a while. I was so out of it that all I wanted to do was to sleep and sleep and sleep.
In the beginning I actually felt bad for being sick. And I realized that I had always felt guilty when I was sick. I can’t remember the last time I was sick and not feeling bad, cause in my mind there was always some work to do, some tasks to complete.
When was the last time you were sick and really rested without feeling guilty or feeling like you have to rush your recovery cause there are tasks to be completed?
I had problem resting even when I had no task and no boss to answer. I guess my mind’s been framed by society that being sick is not right. Taking time to rest is not right, cause well, you ain’t meeting your KPI while resting! (such a first world problem isn’t it?).
Realizing that wasn’t right, I learned to rest, to not do anything and just sleep and just gave what my body needed. Slowly, I really rested actually enjoyed it. No more guilt for being sick!
ALLOWING LIFE TO HAPPEN
In the period I was sick I also realized that I haven’t been fully accepting the slower pace of life. Subconsciously, I was still in the same rat race that I just left behind. So instead of taking Universe’s lead and letting things unfold, I was already anxious and agitated to start doing things again cause it felt wrong to not do anything.
I realized that I got so many ideas in my head for things to do, (which was great!) but what wasn’t right was part of the motivation was the feeling that it was wrong to not be busy. Interesting isn’t it; I’ve been molded by this life to think that constant busy-ness is the right way to go, when it actually isn’t. Back when I worked hard I complained that I had no life. And here I am, having anxiety for actually having a life! Hah!
So with that, I started embracing life. Started embracing the slower pace of life. Started being more grateful that I actually have the privilege of having a slower life. Started appreciating all the other little things that I had not appreciated. And life looks much rosier now :).
So this period has been a wake up call to put my health as a priority and take control again on living a healthy life. And to get back to that healthier lifestyle, I just have to put in a little more work.
My environment and my life has completely changed. It was much easier living a healthy life in Singapore. Since I moved, I’ve been eating less nutritiously, the environment is less healthy, and I exercise a lot less.
I took the first step of doing health checkups to see where I am in my health. And I’m paying more attention on how to maintain a good health in all aspects of my life.
Turns out that I have developed a hypersensitivity to dust, smoke and pollution (which is kinda hard to avoid in the big cities of Indonesia – Tho I’m thankful to live in an area that still have pretty good air and I can still have my morning walks). So this means an adjustment to do more indoor exercises and be diligent in doing that. Plus, a quest of finding the next city to live that has a better air quality.
I’ve also consulted a nutritionist to learn all the good plant based nutrients I need in my diet. 99% of people here are huge meat & seafood eater. So finding healthy vegetable option outside can be a little bit difficult sometimes. (I ate kangkong for 3 days in a row when I was in Lombok cause most places didn’t have any other plant option. THAT ain’t healthy #talesofavegetarianinIndonesia
On top of that, I’m continuing to maintain a healthy well-being through my daily meditation and art.
I still believe in living life naturally. I believe that the garden is my beauty shop and my pharmacy. I still love Jamu and natural healing as much. And I would love to share about them one day. So I’m taking baby steps towards that. I think I’m given this time to take care of my health also as a way for me to learn more about the amazing qualities of plant medicines. That being said, I still think western medicines are important. I just believe that we can maintain our health more naturally rather than relying on man-made chemical aid :).
So stay healthy and may the force be with you.
[I watched 6 Star Wars movies when I was sick. So I’m in total Jedi mode now.]