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Journey back to Mother’s Womb

The Kingdom of Happiness is a place that has tugged the strings of my heart for a very long time. When my friend Gladys shared casually that she was organizing this trip during one of our monthly Skype calls, I said a very loud YES immediately (without knowing how I was going cover the trip). I just knew I would be there.

So as always, the Universe provided and shortly before the trip, it was revealed to me one of my past lives in the land. I flew the DrukAir that early morning on the 1st of October with a knowing that I was coming home. And right enough, as the plane made its maneuver around the green mountains of the Kingdom, as it navigated towards the tarmac, my heart joyfully screamed that she is home.

In the following 8 days after that, I walked a journey back towards my Mother’s womb, as guided by Tara, as the representation of the ultimate Divine Mother.

 

I walked deep inwards into the lands, caressing every veins of leaves and every granules of soil. 

 

Photo taken by Shin Lan on the field towards Chimi Lhakhang

The earth, is my home. In it, I am alive. For the first few days I was extremely quiet. My soul seemed to only want to listen to the vibrations the dwellers of Mama Gaia.

 

I almost ran towards this tree on the courtyard at the Chimi Lhakhang (Temple of Fertility) like a child running towards her favorite friend. I spent several moments quietly just being with her. Only afterwards that I knew this was a Bodhi tree. A tree that I have mentioned repeatedly in the 4 weeks previous to the Bhutan trip as I kept telling a friend of mine (who owns a carved Bodhi seed) how I wanted to see the full thing in glory. And there she was.

 

Photo captured beautifully by Gladys Lee as I was communicating with the tree

This was a tree that called me outside Ponakha Dzong (also known as Palace of Great Happiness). Upon touching this tree, for the first time, I physically felt the pulsation of the trees upon my hands. Communicating, communing, with Mama Gaia.

 

The rocks of the hills towards Chagri Goemba (or Cheri Goemba) spoke to me. I was allowed to take one home and I found an eye lovingly ‘keeping an eye’ on me on the way home. Communication with nature continued.

 

Photo taken by my wonderful guide Jamyang Dorji using my camera

On the trail between Chele La Pass and Kila Nunnery, I heard the songs of the mountain in my soul’s ears, as well as the songs of the prayer flags. I understood how the macrocosm is the same as the microcosm and that I am a part of both and all. I was in the smallest of spores and in the farthest of trees. I was one with all.

 

The rock of the caves at Taktshang Goemba pulled me down in a wash of familiarty. The terma (treasure) uncovered by the terton (treasure finder) in the form of a large rock with a thumb print of Guru Rinpoche felt like a dear friend that I just met again. Rocks always store so much memories in them.

 

I walked through the doors of past, back to the beginnings. 

The currents of memories course through my veins, creating my blessed perfect life.

 

As soon as I stepped onto the grounds of Ponakha Dzong, I knew it was special. As soon as I saw the left most mandala on the main hall, I felt like I passed out for a split second. I was triggered, and my heart was on a roller coaster. This mandala was my beginning. I was once under the maker of the mandala. This mandala was also our beginning, the beginning of our cosmos.

 

This valley, the Phobjikha Valley, was once my land, where I roamed free and wide. I was emotional as I sat on the ledge looking down. I go to this place a lot in my meditation, not knowing where it was. I was finally physically there.

 

The Universe went on an effort to make me find this mandala on the gong by first knocking my head upon the rock near where it was hanging. But I only managed to see it at the end before I left.

I was also triggered. My heart felt deeply and widely in all directions and dimensions. I remembered the gong’s vibration and also knew that it was part of my past. I understood that my connection with mandala had started hundreds of lifetimes ago. I always forget with each rebirth, but the memory remains in me and eventually surfaces.

 

I walked back into Mother’s Womb, allowing myself to be embraced by her magnificent love.

Along these tall trees and mother earth, I had the most amazing connection with our tour guide. At one point, I shared how I love Tara and my connection with her has started intensifying before the trip and how I had been chanting her mantra. Then and there, I was also shown what an amazing role my guide has as an angel in this trip. Divine Mother spoke through the voices in my head, the images I see, the earth, trees, humans, and everything around us.

 

At the Taktshang Goemba, the Universe sent several different reminders of the Compassion chant, Om Mani Padme Hum. The reminders included the wonderful monk chants that was heard throughout the mountains, 2 locals who started chanting around me one after another as I got closer to the Monastery, and this sign that (again) led me to a short discussion with our wonderful guide (He was always at the right point and the right time to lead us to the right direction). It says om mani padme hum hri – which I was told to mean that the mantra is repeated a hundred times.

Upon the final and hardest part of the ascent, along with the reminder from the last local who chanted while climbing next to me, I took out my mala (or mani chim in local language), and started chanting 108 Om Mani Padme Hum all the way to the top and closed it with 3 Ohms. I did the same chant on the most difficult ascent back. Both done while being breathless, with burning thighs, trying to keep going on the steep climb. The Universe seems to remind me that on the toughest climb, trust that the Divine is there to guide you.

 

In this Lhakhang Karpo (White Temple), I was pulled down on my knees, unable to get up again, leaving me prostrating in front of Tse Lha Nam Sum (the Trinity Godess of Long Live). Yet again I was affected, my heart felt so much – elation, gratitude, melancholy, and love. I bowed down to such an amazing loving great power. I cleared my karma and opened myself wide to receive all her love.

That same night, during Rebirthing Breathwork, I owned my power of feminine and beauty and activated all 12 chakras.

 

On the last day of the trip, we had the pleasure of taking a traditional hot-stone bath. In the bath, I felt the most amazing bliss and spent the majority of time just curling in a fetus surrounded by the warm water as if I was back into my mother’s womb. Being the last significant thing I had on this trip, this felt like I had completed my journey back into my mother’s womb.

 

Land of the Thunder Dragon. Homeland.

 

Gangtey Goemba – a place where I truly felt I was a local.

I never imagined that so much of my past (that made up the person that I am) started in this magnificent Land of the Thunder Dragon. I drew the picture below in the rocking car on the way from Gangtey Goemba back to the capital Thimpu. I had one amazing meditation that morning in the lodge by the Goemba and saw this image.

Our past, present, and future are merely dimensions of the same point in time. There was no separations of the 3 and they all reside in ourselves.

 

Our eyes at our back are the brightest for we see best to the past.

Our third eye sees our way into the future.

But the most important one is the one that sees with the heart.

 

 

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha

I prostrate to the Liberator, Mother of all the Victorious Ones.

 

with love,

 

 


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Thimphu Tsechu

Every Line has a Purpose

A friend of mine asked me once whether drawing a mandala for me is like doodling?

This question was asked over a year ago and since then, it’s somehow always in my mind.

I have been reflecting on my mandalas and my creation process. There are many mandala artists out there and I’m aware that mine are vastly different from theirs. This also got me reflecting on why mine are the way they are.

To me, drawing a mandala is very different from doodling. Doodling is associated with mindless drawing. While mine does not involved any mind, there is a mindful quality that goes into the drawing.

From the very first one that I drew, drawing a mandala feels like a channeling of something greater than I am. I remember in that first experience how it felt like I was downloading information that I could not understand onto paper. I never knew how one is going to turn out, and one is always very different from the next. My mandala has grown throughout the years as my gifts are developing, but the process is always the same – a download of information onto paper.

I’m never concerned about how pretty it would look like when I make one, because it’s never about making it pretty.

I’m never concerned about making it full or complex because that’s really not the purpose at all. If it turns out to be very simple, then it’s meant to be simple.

Every line I put down needs to have a purpose. There is a reason why that line is there and if the line is not supposed to be there, it won’t be drawn.

Sometimes, my mandalas, despite it’s simplicity, look more like sacred symbols and these ones are normally the ones that contain beautiful power in them.

Drawing a mandala always feels like a sacred ritual for me. I have to be in the right state of mind, and I have to be surrounded by chants, prayers, or songs with high vibrations. And whenever I’m in the middle of the creation, my heart feels like it’s being expanded wide.

To me, a mandala is a 2-dimensional representation of a multi-dimensional things that can go beyond our 3-dimensional world. Sometimes it represents a soul. Other times, it represents a life event. There’s no limit as to what it can represent. And as can be seen through these two photos, they can be different points in a (non-linear) timeline.

 

Rebirth, 7 Sept 2017
Death and Rebirth, 11 Sept 2016

The latest mandala was drawn today, on 7 September 2017, titled Rebirth. The older mandala was drawn on 11 September 2016 – almost a year ago – titled Death and Rebirth.  I didn’t plan this. It’s all Universe’s beautiful synchronicity. Both are about Rebirth – that happened at about the same period in the year, yet both are vastly different.

They reflect different points in my life, where I went through deep rebirth process by very different means. And although they are drawn a year apart, there’s a meeting point in the timeline where this time around, I’m also taken back (energetically and spiritually) to a particular sacred point that was involved in the rebirth last year.

These 2 drawings might look quite simple on the outside, but they contain deep meanings for me. Every mandala contains deep meaning for the person it’s intended for. Sometimes, the meanings might not be comprehensible in the mind, but they can be felt in the heart.

 

For every line contains a message for that particular person/ situation.

.. or an expression of that particular soul/ situation.

 

None is drawn without a purpose.

Just as every little thing that happens in our lives, has a purpose.

 

Circular Motion

When it comes to inspiration, most of the time the way we work with it is by tuning in to the inspiration.

But sometimes, inspiration comes like a thundering storm that washes an area in a sweep. This morning, such Thunder hit me that I had to rush to a paper to channel it out before it moved on. The pressure was so large that my sacral chakra was hurting and only subsided when I finished.

The truth is, the clouds had started gathering for a few days. An idea of a circle of life and completion has been playing in my mind for a few days. It comes in different forms every day. And this morning, the reflections expanded into a circular motion, a vortex, a cycle of a spiritual dizzying dance, a centrifugal force around a source.

It was a thundering realization of seeing the idea in anything and everything; in atoms, in flora, in dance, in galaxies, in the Universe.

So I laid the curves one at a time, reflecting a point that ripples out to the ends of the Universe – Reflecting the kind of explosions that create lives – Reflecting the constant multi-dimensional rotations of the world and our lives and all the little atoms in our body – Reflecting the connection to the Vortex of a source.

I put down the pen and it was never about the result.

It has always been about the process.

I’ve let it out and come full circle.

– Circular Motion