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Thoughts on aging and living well

I’m the kind of person who likes to see all sides of an argument. I always believe there’s more than 1 side of things and this makes me believe that there’s no such thing as real absolutes, especially when it comes to dogmas, doctrines, and advices. I’m the worst at debates cause I like to equally weigh both sides.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying Mind over Matter before. While it’s true to a huge extend, and despite believing the saying, I still feel like I hadn’t gotten the whole picture of that simple saying.

Earlier today, I spent a few hours at my 96 year-old grandma’s place to help out cause she’s been having trouble walking. Her legs are already quite weak and it takes a lot of effort to move one foot for even an inch.

But my grandma is the most strong-willed person I know. Despite all her difficulties, she refused to use the wheelchair. Unfortunately, this made it difficult for the rest of the family, especially in those moments where her legs gave up and she had to be supported by more than 2 people in mid-fall cause she exerts all her force as she refuse to sit down and continue trying with all her might to stand and continue walking.

Today, in one of those moments where her legs gave up, as I was doing my best gentle persuasion to get her to sit down on the wheelchair and rest, she shouted “I was given strength! I was given strength!” Even in the most difficult situation, nothing can shake her believe.

But her body was already halfway down, and even with 3 people by her side, she could still easily fall and hurt something. So I said to her “let’s use that strength to sit down.” And somehow, we managed to guide her to the chair behind her.

It was hard to be there and I carried what happened in my mind until hours later. I was half looking for a solution and half was just wondering if there’s a lesson here.

Slowly, throughout the day, stories come my way.

My dad watched a television talk show program where there’s a pole vaulter/ high jumper that is about the same age as my parents but still competing professionally. Then I received the following video of this fabulous 98-year-old lady who can still do amazing things with her body.

I searched her and listened to her Ted talk and her mantra was that anything is possible. She believes that she CAN, so she DOES. 

To me, my grandma is a perfect example of “Mind over Matter”. I always admire her determination and her will. But unfortunately her body can’t keep up with her mind anymore. The other 2 ladies are example of “Mind along Matter. The Mind believes that she can. The body, which has been taken care of, is able to support the mind. And to go even deeper, Tao, the 98 year-old-lady, is the perfect example of “Soul guided Mind along Matter”. 

And that’s the key to living well.

We are made up of Mind, Body, and Soul. For a healthy life, the 3 of them have to be developed together. A centered soul influences a healthy body, which can support a strong mind.

My grandma looked defeated when she sat on her wheelchair and my heart feels for her. I hope I can still show her that just by using a little help, that doesn’t mean she’s not strong. I hope I can share that there’s also power in gentleness, softness and rest.

But let this be a reminder for us to not just take care of one part, but to pay attention to what our souls/ hearts want, to the clarity and strength of our minds, and to the health of our bodies.

With heart,