I’ve been quiet this past month cause I’ve been going inwards into my own cocoon – reflecting and learning. Perhaps brewing my being for something bigger.
The Great Terry Prattchet wrote in A Hat Full of Sky, “Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” The whole month of July has felt like I’m going back to the start in many areas of my life – but i’m not exactly coming back to the very beginning. I have gone so far from where I started. I’m coming back to learn even more.
The more I know, the more I really don’t know. The more I learn about things, the more I have to unlearn many other things.
On the physical level, I’ve been made aware of many imbalances within my body – on the surface level is how different my left side is from my right. The most challenging thing was probably to remind myself that I am perfect the way I am, even if I’m not equal on the left and right side. The un-evennes in my body was created to balance other aspects of my life in these past 3 plus decades of my life. And now that I’ve been made aware of it, I’m given an opportunity to come back to the start and re-discover Balance. It is an opportunity to bring in more stability in the way I move and live.
I’ve become my own personal trainer and physical therapist. And I’m thankful of the opportunities I got to experience and apply what I learned on myself first and foremost. By experiencing things, I can better help others.
And with that, I’ve felt like I had to come back to the start in terms of how I teach my yoga classes. I’ve been blessed enough to share yoga with older ladies. Their range of motions are very limited, and that got me to be creative and really look at their needs.
And this time, I felt like I was made to go deeper into that – To come back to seeing the basic functions of human bodies and find ways to create better stability and mobility in the body through simple exercises. That takes not just body awareness and intelligence, but a lot of introspection on how we move and function with the aid of our bodies.
I’m also coming back to the start and re-connecting with what is Love. What does it mean to love and be loved? All the dark shadows of love have been coming up to play – things like attachment, possession, and all those good things that stops us from really loving.
I feel so much love and at times it’s aching for someone to pour it to and to express it to. I’m navigating what does expressing an emotion and having it be heard mean to me. As someone who is so passionate about life, the expression of life – thus the emotions – means a lot to me. But how exactly?
I don’t have the answer.
And that’s okay.
I’m coming back to the start to the essence of love.
Awareness, Introspection, and a Heart-centered Intelligence are my trio of friends in learning about myself and my life and being a better person. And I came back to the beginning with these 3 friends. We’ve started another journey and I look forward to discoveries and new friends along the way.
So, if you’re ever confused or needed to make sense of this life, come back to the beginning, and I’ll meet you there and introduce you to my 3 friends.